Monday, June 30, 2008

Ladies and Gentlemen We are Floating in Space...

So last week was a test. It began with a meeting with my latest psychiatrist, although we had to fight to keep that appointment due to the secretary reading the diary wrong. Amazing that you can be feeling really ill, and be communicating that to your 'care team' and still spend a week waiting to see someone. Anyway, we see Dr. T who is more confused than I am about my current mental state, questions my diagnosis but won't make a decision about that or my medication dose or my current state as she is the most junior member of staff. 'Come back on Wednesday, and in the meantime I'll discuss you with a consultant and come back with a plan of action' She advises.

I try and stay positive about this, helped along by me upping my own medication. On Wednesday we meet again, where she takes the radical decision of upping my medication to the same dose I had chosen. Maybe I've got a career ahead of me, here. She talks more about a possible dual diagnosis, totally different diagnosis, both, none, or everything and nothing at the same time. Confused? Me too. Lucky for her, I'm moving to Wales in about a month so my care is getting passed on to someone new to figure me out.

We discuss the incompetencies of their care of Me over the last 18 months, with the head of the Mental Health Team, all of which he puts down to administrative errors. He apologies but defends his team absolutely. I leave with a new prescription, a form to hand to my G.P. informing him of my meds increase and a consent form to receive copies of my notes. As it turns out, the consent form was the wrong one; the form for my GP was missing my surname and my GP's name, and the prescription was illegal as it had no address on it. Additionally it was for the wrong medication, which I discovered 30 mins before driving for 4 1/2 hours to Wales. Administrative errors???

Following all of that, we had an emergency with our cat, and unfortunately lost our Scopey on Thursday evening. We all miss him. Terribly. Tanny reckons He's floating around in space somewhere and did the picture above of Him.

On a positive note, We viewed a lovely house in Wales on the weekend, and fingers crossed it'll all go through and we'll be moving there shortly. A fresh start for us all in relatively peaceful surroundings, closer to the people we care about and hopefully with better care.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Mixed up

"Manic depression is a frustrated miss." (Jimi Hendrix)
Mixed states, rapid cycling, moodswinging between mania and depression daily. It's not a nice place to be. But I see a new Doctor tomorrow, so fingers crossed.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

They call it Stormy Monday

What a start to the day! Someone's taken the wing mirror off our car and slashed the front tyre with a blade. That's £70 spent already. So much for my trip to the studio today to create. Milly has drawn up the walls and some delivery driver has just gridlocked the village by parking on the zig-zags at the traffic lights. They call it stormy Monday, but Tuesday's just as bad... Funny, I had that song in my head all last week (T Bone Walker). And yesterday we were caught in a storm whilst out walking. We watched a wild deer grazing on bushes bordering a field. A really great moment.

I recently finished my newest batch of songs - listen and/or download the 'Behaviour in Public Places' E.P. free here. I've discovered the crazy music of Hrvatski and Disinformation, which is leading me to try some heavily programmed drill and bass/IDM style music. Don't know if I have the patience though! I've discovered the wonderful whisky of Islay (Laphroaig and Bowmore), swung my pants to Russell Howard's Sunday radio show (you really should check it out), watched Wales lose to S Africa in the rugby (twice) and found out that you can change any Dvd player to multiregion by entering a simple code (find yours free here).

My GP has advised me to finally rid my incompetent psychiatric care team from my life, so have once again written to the head of mental health services for my area requesting a new Doctor. Everyone who hears my story seem to think that the way I am being treated is outrageous, so once we move maybe I should write that book. Talking of which, still no news of the book on depression I contributed to, but the move is moving forward slowly and we've begun to enquire about properties.

That's about it for now. Loads more flies through my mind, but i don't get around to blogging it. Must make more of an effort!