It seems so far away

Well, it's my birthday tomorrow, 36. That makes it 5 years of living in this sleepy village. Been thinking about it this past week or two. I moved here from Brighton, not long out of a stay in a psychiatric hospital, coming out of a severe depression and the end of a destructive relationship. Looking at our bookshelf yesterday, i saw so many inspirational books i've read since then. Autobiographies by people who've gone that extra mile, who have overcome severe hardships just to survive, various self-help books, books on depression and bipolar disorder.... the list goes on. I still haven't written mine.

But in those 5 years i've met who I truly believe to be my soulmate, and had a beautiful baby daughter who is growing up so fast. I've grown closer to my family and I've discovered who my real friends are. And most of all, i can honestly say that in this present moment, sitting here, I am happy. I can't even remember my last 2 birthdays, either due to medication sedation or deep depressions. But this year I feel good. Some people live in the past, but I don't. I don't miss it at all. I look forward to an even better, more stable future.

On the weekend I listened to Super Furry Animals' "Presidential Suite" and the last chorus moved me...

" You know that when we met
There were Fireworks in the sky
Sparkling like dragonflies
Spelling all bad folk must die
And when I look over,
Over my shoulder,
I can't see my past
It seems so far away.
It seems so far away
Far away"